


Crimson Visions

by AbnormalDaze



Category: Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Character Death, Inquisitor Cal Kestis, Minor Character Death, Multi, Murder, Other, PTSD, Psychological Torture, Seduction to the Dark Side, Sith, Sith Training, The Dark Side of the Force, Torture, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:28:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25127017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbnormalDaze/pseuds/AbnormalDaze
Summary: Cal didn't defeat the Ninth Sister on Kashyyyk. The Second Sister came in and struck him. The Mantis Crew believe him dead and now race through the galaxy to find BD-1, no longer on Kashyyyk and lost in the galaxy. Racing against the Inquisitors to discover what Eno Cordova hid away in the Temple on Bogano, everyone seems to gather in one place, and you stumble into this mess. Now you are trying to remain a Jedi, while the Dark Side keeps beckoning to you with tantalizing lips and poisonous words.
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	1. Running and Losing

**Author's Note:**

> I like to see what character would be if they were evil, and even more so, what it means for someone to fall from grace and becoming a villain. Here I am making Inquisitor Cal and a reader who falls.

Talking back alley deals was something you had to learn quickly, living in Nubia. The whole planet thrived on gambling, money, and beauty, and you used to your advantage to make a home after your last one was ripped away from you.

You pull along your cart, filled with rare ores and various other tech, a thick tarp covering them. You had a deal in the seedier part of town and you needed to deliver this today before your buyers left tonight. The sun was slowly beginning to set and you had a meeting with a newer client later this evening and you’d like to get a nap in before meeting with them.

Several people pass by and look at you curiously as you tow this cart behind you. Ripples of greed and curiosity came to you as you passed them. You kept your eyes ahead, glancing back to make sure the cargo was untouched. What would your Master say about you now?

You finally reach your destination and see a group of three figures. A human, a Nikto, and an Aqualish.

“I didn’t expect a welcoming party.”

The human, dressed roughly, but nicely, spoke up, gruff and monotone, “You’re dealing to a thieves guild. We know what people like to take.”

“Well I have a name to uphold and I don’t backstab my clients. You came to me for a reason.”

“Yes we did, Silver Tongue of the Run,” the Nikto grumbled out.

A sigh escapes your lips, “That name is still annoying, but I guess it proves my skill”

You pull forward the cart and pull off the tarp keeping the goods hidden, revealing the tech and ore beneath, “If you need to check it for everything, go ahead. I’ll step aside.”

The Nikto motions with a hand and the human and Aqualish begin to check the haul. The Nikto turns to you.

“This is the fourth time I’ve had to use your skills. Why not join my guild? We could make good use of you.”

“And lose my connections? No. The reason I can get everyone what they want is by knowing those that I do. Joining any faction leads to me having 20 targets on my head and killed in my sleep.”

“You sure? You seem to have a knack for getting out of trouble when you need to.”

You roll your eyes and cross your arms, “How good are your Empire connections?”

The Nikto lets out a grumble, “Fine, fine. I get it.”

“Boss, everything is here.”

The Nikto nods and hands you your credits, “At least we can get better gear with you helping.”

You grab the money with a smile, made easy with the help of his appeasement radiating off him. 

“As far as you know, you bought this firsthand.”

The Nikto nods as you walk away and put your money away. You turn a corner and stop, glancing around you before checking your coat and items. Your hand brushes up against your lightsaber, stowed safely behind you, and hidden in your coat. Assured by its placement and security you walk into the bustling street, pulling your hood and mask up.

People shout about their wares and goods, others about being ripped off. You step quicker as you hear the sounds of a fight and stormtroopers rush to the area. Running forward, you weave your way through and to the nearest alleyway to make your way home.

You get closer to your home. It’s closer to the inner city, but close enough to the outer edges to make for a quick escape in any direction. You go to turn into the main street when you hear blaster bolts and several shouts. Look behind, you see two other figures running, a Latero male and a female Human. They were coming straight for you and you could hear the stomps of boots and shouts of orders.

Quickly looking around, you saw a figure walking out of the backdoor of a building, a bar it seems. You rush up and push the figure away and call out to the two running towards you.

“Over here!”

The woman looks to you and nods, grabbing the Latero male and sprinting closer. Just as they rush in, you close the door as you see a glimpse of stormtroopers running into the alley. You lock the door and hold an ear up to the door. The troopers shoot at something before their boots make their way down the alley.

You sigh and lean against the door.

“What did you do to get the ire of the troopers? Neither of you are from here, cause that hasn’t happened in weeks.”

Turning around, you take in the appearances of the two characters you just saved. The Latero male wore a red jacket with old oil stains in them. He kept tapping his foot and checking his body for any injuries, which he luckily didn’t have. The human was breathing a little heavy, but largely ok. She had a small burn mark on her jacket but seemed fine. You were about to speak when you see a glint of metal and see her holding a lightsaber.

You take a brief step back, staring at her hand, and reaching behind your back if this becomes a fight. The woman glances at her hand and quickly puts it behind her back. Fear floods out from here and you struggle to keep from running away.

“I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m not an Inquisitor.”

You keep your eyes trained on her and try to steal your breath and hide your Force signature. You didn’t much care about her being an Inquisitor or a Jedi. You couldn’t let her sense you and turn you in.

She waited for a response but received none as you kept your eyes on her face, fear bleeding on your face. 

“Cere, I think you scared the kid,” the Latero was finally done making sure he was okay and glanced between you and the woman, Cere.

“They’ll be fine Greez,” She puts her lightsaber away, “Thank you for saving us. You didn’t have to, but you did.”

You nod shakily, “ Yeah, no problem. I don’t believe the lies of the Empire. I know the Jedi are peacekeepers, or… were.”

Your voice wavers as you speak, your hands rubbing together nervously, as you glance to the ground as you felt the worry and apprehension radiate off the two in front of you. You take several deep breaths as Cere speaks up again. 

“It’s good to know we found a good ally in a tough time, but how do you know about the Jedi?”

You tilt your head up rapidly and rub the back of your neck, “Well, I had a...friend who was a Jedi. He was a Jedi Knight, but-”

You were cut off as you hear a door open and commands being given out. You grab Cere and Greez and run back out into the alleyway. You drag them behind you as you all begin to run in the streets.

“Where did you park your ship?”

Greez bellows back at you, “What makes you think we have a ship!”

“I’ve never seen either of you before, and you came to the seediest part of the city when most people go for the lights. You came here for something and got in trouble. Now, where did you park?”

Cere speaks up next, “South of the city, and we’d best hurry!”

With that blasts began to fire towards you guys, all missing as the stormtroopers were too far away. You lead the pair through the alleys and streets, weaving through people and racing to the top of a few buildings. They struggled to make a few of the jumps between buildings and it left you all vulnerable.

“Fire at will!”

You held your arms up and felt the heat of the blasters hit your coat and race past you. You glance up and see more figures getting closer, a few looking like Purge Troopers. Fear paralyzes you as you see them getting closer. You remember the screams of your previous Master.

“Come on!”

You turn to see Cere calling you forward to the ground, Greez with her. You quickly drop-down, a couple shots hitting your back before you fall. You gasp in pain, but you all keep running. You guide the way, trying to keep the troopers and past from getting closer. Fear driving you forward.

Time flew by in an instant as you all ran, making it to the center of the city. Bright lights and rich folk milled about this area, making your companions look very out of place, and you exceptionally so. You stopped as you made it to a small clothing store, standing to the side of it. 

You all take a few minutes to get your breath. You gasp in pain from the blaster bolts, but checking the wounds showed that they impacted the jacket mostly and bruised the skin beneath. With a sigh you pull off your coat and lean against the cool wall behind you.

“Welcome to the Inner City. There are not as many troopers here and you’ll likely not get spotted.”

Cere spoke up first, “Thank you again. I owe you a debt.”

You shake your head, “I already got paid today and I think I’m gonna go heal up and nap before I head to my next job, once I get a new coat.”

You examine your coat, seeing the rips and burns on the coat. You check it’s pockets and move your items to your pants pockets or belt pockets. 

“I’m glad you would help us, especially someone like me.”

You give Cere a small smile, her genuine happiness radiating off her and to you, “Yeah, of course. I…. I understand your struggle.”

You focus back on your coat and feel your heart drop. You turn the coat inside out, but see the large hole in the tail of it. Your lightsaber not to be seen.

“You okay, kid, you seem a little panicked.”

You turn to Greez, “I dropped something important while we were running. I need to get it back.”

“Let us help!”

“Cere, we can’t risk getting chased again.”

You nod, “I agree with him. I know these streets better and if the Empire took it, I can get it back with little trouble. Plus there is a new coat I need to grab. I hope you find what you are looking for.”

You need to step away before your emotions get the better of you and Cere senses your Force signature. You run down the street and quickly lose the pair. You toss your old jacket and go into a nearby store. 

Getting a similar jacket would be suspicious, but so would entering without any sort of jacket on. You quickly buy a poncho and make your exit, running.

The rich people gawk at you, but you ignore them. You can’t lose your lightsaber. It’s the one connection to your past, to remember everything you are. Tears came forward as you let your mind and the Force guide you forward. You can’t lose this.


	2. Caught Against a Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You looked at him for a second before nodding. Cal stepped forward and touched the canvas. He gasped and Force bled out of him. His shock and small blips of joy make you reflexively step backwards, but you steady yourself.
> 
> He pulled back with a sigh and a smile before looking at you, “You did more than recover the painting, didn’t you?”
> 
> “Perhaps, what do you think I did?”
> 
> “It involved blood and what you deemed as ‘unnecessary actions’.”
> 
> You watched Cal as he glanced out your window. It expands over into the slums and focuses on the brighter inner city not too far away, “She wasn’t supposed to die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos you guys! It really means a lot for me to see people liking the story with that short of a first chapter. I hope you all stick around as I continue.

Placing bacta patches on yourself is harder than you think, and you get to experience that as you sit in your home, saberless and holding a few more injuries.

You made it to the building you got hurt at, but you couldn’t get any sign of your lightsaber anywhere. While looking you got held up by a mugger and the ensuing fight didn’t go the best, but you’re still living and you still have your credits. You wipe your hands on your pants, still feeling the blood on your hands.

You take a deep breath in. They aren’t dead, just badly injured. They walked away just as you had and you’re fine, so why can’t they be as well. You lay down on your couch and let the sounds of the HoloTV take over your thoughts and you try and ground yourself.

As you begin to relax, a loud beep comes from your datapad. Reaching for it, you see a message from your next employer.

#509: Do you think we could meet in a new location? I believe our previous location may have been compromised as a murder investigation is taking place in that area.

You pause before messaging back.

Me: We can. Would you prefer public or private?

#509: I think a private meeting would be best. Maybe afterwards we can get to know each other over dinner. I have several requests for you and expect us to be partners for a long time.

You chuckle before responding.

Me: Meet me at my apartment. I’m moving soon anyways, due to some complications from earlier today. You have nothing to worry about and I’ll be sure to be a good host.

You send them your address before laying back down and closing your eyes.

The sounds of your alarm wake you. Quickly, you get up and go to your refresher to remove the bacta patches and freshen up for your meeting. You take the time to clean up your home.

Before long you hear a knock at the door. You calm yourself before opening the door and seeing your client. He has short red hair, nicely cut and put to the side and piercing blue eyes, but the thing that caught your eye the most was the shiny and imposing Inquisitor outfit he wore.

“Didn’t expect you to be an Inquisitor?”

“And I didn’t expect you to live in the slums.”

You scoff and invite him in, “Keeps me low profile, and in possession of enough credits if I need to flee.”

“That happens often?”

“Enough times to be prepared. Or it’s just my paranoia.”

He chuckles and you head to your fridge and grab two drinks.

“So which number are you? I’m surprised you don’t have a helmet like most the others.”

“It inhibits what I like to do, and I’m the Eleventh Brother, but I still go by my original name, Cal Kestis.”

You hummed as you handed him his drink. It sounded familiar, “I’m (Y/N).”

“It’s good to hear the name behind the title.”

You sneer as you take a sip, “It’s not a good one, but if I am befitting of one, might as well have it.”

“Do you have any trophies to show for it?”

You smile and lead Cal to your living room. Your apartment wasn’t anything too special. A living room attached to the kitchen and dining area, and then a separate bedroom and bathroom.

You show him a large painting held on the wall, “A painter hired me to recover this painting from a thief. I found the thief, got the painting and returned them. The painter paid me profusely and gave me the painting. I was gracious.”

Cal examined it, “May I touch it?”

You looked at him for a second before nodding. Cal stepped forward and touched the canvas. He gasped and the Force bled out of him. His shock and small blips of joy make you reflexively step backwards, but you steady yourself.

He pulled back with a sigh and a smile before looking at you, “You did more than recover the painting, didn’t you?”

“Perhaps, what do you think I did?”

“It involved blood and what you deemed as ‘unnecessary actions’.”

You watched Cal as he glanced out your window. It expands over into the slums and focuses on the brighter inner city not too far away., “She wasn’t supposed to die.”

“But there you were killing her, with this no less.”

From Cal’s belt, he pulls out your lightsaber and ignites it. A yellow beam spreading forth. You gasp and step back as you see this man examine the weapon.

“I will say, you are not as attached to this saber as I thought you would be, but you have imprinted on it oddly. There are little flashes of you on it, but nothing concrete, just ideas and emotions, nothing strong, but -”

In a flash, Cal deactivates the saber and suddenly appears in front of you, “I figured if I got to the source, I could learn a lot more about you, and I’ve got to say you are full of mysteries.”

Before you can ask anything, Cal grabs your wrist and you feel his Force begin to attack your own. He gasps before laughing. A chill flows up your spine as you hear his laugh, deep and cold. Your own Force signature pushes against him but it is quickly pushed aside.

“I didn’t expect you to be so weak. You’re worse than I was after my old master died. So who was it for you?”

He pushes you against the wall and leans in close, “Who made you lose any strength in the Force or perhaps, your Master was so weak and you kept up appearances just to make them happy. You definitely have the mind for it.”

You were frozen in place, but you couldn’t back down now, “What do you want with me?”

“Come with me to dinner. We’ll talk for a bit and you’ll have a few options. Become an Inquisitor, take this job and continue your current job in secret, or be killed on the spot, and I’d hate to do the last one. Your fear is so intoxicating and I’ve barely gotten to know you. It’d be a shame to lose such a prize.”

His cheshire grin feels ravenous and evil, but his unfeeling eyes, with the barest hint of mirth and sadism, betray any idea of what Cal is thinking.

“Lead the way.”

He purrs before grabbing your hand and leading you into the city. You quickly pull on your mask as people watch this street rat following an Inquisitor. You walk into the richer districts and the stares get more and more intense. You breathe and close your eyes, letting your feet drag you behind Cal.

It’s interior is lavish, with crisp white linens and curtains, a sharp contrast to your own black outfit and Cal’s own Inquisitor’s gear. He walks to the front of the line, watching you to make sure you follow suit. The other guests watch in shock and awe at the display.

“A table for two in a solo suite. We are having a business chat, this here is the esteemed Silver Tongue of the Run. I’m sure you understand.”

The loudness he said that was heard throughout the entire restaurant. Every occupant stared at you and whispers began to emerge from all sides. You kept your head down as the voices became ones you dared not to remember; the words shoved your way when you were in the temple. The laughs and taunts.

You came back to the present as Cal grabbed your hand and led you to your private seating area. It wasn’t a terribly large space, but it was far away enough from any other person and with a curtain to ensure more privacy. The table was decorated with whites and blues, two blank plates staring at you. You both sat and quickly ordered your food.

“You didn’t seem to like the attention I brought onto you.”

You sipped your water, “I like to keep my activities boiled down to a person with a mask and a singsong voice. Having a bunch of ditzy rich people know who I am makes my life 1000 times more annoying.”

“I mean, you still had your mask on and there are millions of humans on Nubia and Corellia. You could be anyone.”

You shrug your shoulders, “It’s besides the point, what do you want me to do? I am a proprietor of rare goods.”

“But you have taken odd deals here and there. How are you with assassinations?”

“I’ve never done that before. I’m not gonna kill anyone.”

“Oh, you still have that Jedi mentality,” a genuine frown breaks his normally calm and emotionless face, “We’ll deal with that, but it will be something you will have to do soon. I mean you already have.”

You clench your fists and teeth, “It was an accident.”

Your food arrives, hot and ready. You haven’t eaten all day, but you are barely feeling hungry. Still, you take a few bites.

“A beautiful accident. The murder scene was glorious, and could only really be done with force abilities. The blood on the ceiling and the body blown apart into mere shards of bone and viscera. It was simply delightful. If you are capable of that, I want you to show me what you can really do.”

You look away before warily lifting a fork up and throwing it to Cal. He catches it with the Force before grabbing it and twirling it in his hands.

“C’mon. Give me a little more.”

Your lips tremble and your fingernails dig into your palm, nearly drawing blood, “I can’t.”

Cal frowns and you feel his presence around your own, you try and fight back against his intrusion, but he easily flips it away. A chuckle escaped his lips.

“You can hide for 6 years from the Empire, but you can barely push a person. It’s pathetic.”

You growl at him, “Better than being tortured into a toy for the Empire.”

As the words escaped your lips, you regretted it as Cal looked at you with death piercing your soul. His face was still, no longer with a small smirk gracing his features. You could feel pressure on your neck, but you’re unsure if it’s from anxiety or him trying to choke you. 

“You’d best be careful with what you say to me. I am the contractor of your life right now.”

You stay silent and take a few bites of food.

“I need you to locate a droid by the ID of BD-1. He has crucial information for the Empire and I've been tasked with swiftly finding him. Secondly, I need you to locate a ship by the name of the Stinger Mantis. You must return it to me. I will warn you that there is a crew on board. Thirdly, of the crew on board, there is a Jedi Master on board. She will be an issue for you. She has cut herself from the Force, but is still a formidable opponent. She needs to be killed. Fourthly, I need you to gather all names of syndicates found in the Corellian Run and give them to me.”

Your eyes narrow at the assassination task, but you can’t help but scoff at the last request. That would be the easiest one, but the others, “What if I don’t want to do this deal?”

“I’ll make you an Inquisitor. Or you’ll die in the process. Or just maybe,” Cal leans over the table and grabs your jaw, “I’ll make you my little pet.”

You frown and pull your head back, “How much will I get paid for this deal?”

“10,000 credits, plus you get to continue this job of yours. I should really be killing you, but when the Stormtroopers brought me your lightsaber and I felt the confusion and fear from it…. Let’s just say I got hooked and wanted to meet the person behind it all, and you haven’t disappointed me, at least not a lot.”

You watch this Inquisitor carefully. His eyes watch his food, but glance up to you with this hint of interest. Of obsession. You feel his joy radiate off him and you struggle to not fall into his camaraderie and smile with him. To let him make the decision for you, because he radiates his energy and you have no choice but to feel it. Cal seemed to look at you curiously, as if he is trying to figure something out. 

“Who was your master? They did an awful job teaching you. Did you actually learn anything?”

Tears edged on your vision, but you swiftly blink them away. “I never had one. Not a proper one.”

Cal’s eyes perked at that, “Then would that make me your first Master?”

“You’re giving me an order, not teaching me.”

“Then let me be a little more hands on.”

He grabs your hand and another pulse of Force energy expels from you both. This time you feel his energy seep into your body and merge with your own signature. Your body felt cold as you felt your very nature slip away from yourself. Flickering images of your past floated by you and darkness ebbed in your vision. Suddenly, you are panting and looking into Kestis’ eyes, burning with passion.

“I can see parts of your past just by touching you. You feel so much. You see into others so much you forget parts of yourself. That’s why I can’t read any of your past from your items. I need to read you.”

You pull your hand away and back away from the table.

“I can’t let you get away, not with the taste I just got from you. You’d make a fine Inquisitor, and I’d love to just break you down and make you our precious Thirteenth.”

“I don’t need anymore torture. I’m fine.”

Kestis stops moving towards you. Then he starts laughing. It is discordant and broken. A chime of bones and metal grating against each other.

“You’re fine!? What a load of bullshit! You are barely a Jedi. You are still a Youngling, you don’t deserve the title of Jedi. You are weak!”

Burning tears fall down your face as his words echo in your head. That’s what everyone told you, but you found a way around that. You became something here, and you aren’t letting it go that easily.

“Just come with me and I can give you more power than you would know what to do with. Or do you wanna fight me and die?”

“Shut up!” 

Your head snaps up to his and you see his face contort to confusion, as you suddenly scream and an explosion of the Force emanates from you, and everything gets pushed away from you, including Kestis.

You open your eyes and glance for your lightsaber. Kestis is on the floor coughing, “Now that’s more like it!”

You dash and grab your lightsaber and ignite it as Kestis slashes down at you, his own red saber hot and ready to slice. Your blades clash as you block.

“Seems I underestimated you. Your fear is simply divine. Unbecoming of a Jedi.”

You let go of your block and jump back, grabbing a canister from your belt and throwing it on the ground. Smoke quickly fills the area and you turn off your saber and put on your mask as you run towards the front.

“A little smoke won’t deter me, (Y/N)!”

You leap over the balcony and land next to a table with a couple dining. You ignore the stings in your hands and legs as you weave through the tables. People shout. Plates clatter. The sound of boots racing behind you reminding you to continue forward. You rush out the front doors and into the dark night.

You turn to run, but Kestis rams his body into you and you both fall to the ground. You roll out of the way as the flash of red narrowly misses your face. You jump to your feet and ignite your saber, dodging several swipes from your opponent.

“Let’s have some fun, doll! Let me see what training in combat you have. It’ll give me pointers when I train you later.”

You bite your tongue, iron filling your mouth as you repress giving a taunt back. You hold your saber in front of you and watch Kestis. You two begin to circle each other, waiting for the other to attack or drop their guard.

“Why do you stay with the Jedi? They are liars. They are dead. You can be so much more. You can do so much more without their silly rules and tenants. You already broke so many.”

“And you’re saying you didn’t do the same before the Empire got you. That you didn’t make attachments? That you gave order in chaos? No surviving Jedi can, not perfectly. Giving into your desires doesn’t change that.”

Cal grinned back, “But what about trying to live in a fucked up world. Is it wrong to use all powers you have to do as you please?”

You sneer and growl, “To kill innocents? To let the Empire dictate your actions? That isn’t freedom or justice. You are a dog!”

You lunge at Cal, but he swiftly pushes your attack to the side. You bring up block after block as Cal hacks at you. His motions are frantic and harsh. Must have hit a nerve. 

You use Cal’s momentum to careen him to your right. With another swipe you slash his back, the cloth burning and the armor hissing at the contact with the plasma. Cal rolls and stands. A feral grin graces his face and he laughs.

“The first fight and you got a mark on me. You are a delight, baby! I can’t believe I almost let you get away.”

Cal goes for another attack when the sound of a ship and another lightsaber hit your ears. Cere slashes towards Cal, but he swiftly dodges out of the way. A large Stinger ship descends, crashing into a few buildings. A door opens. 

“C’mon!” Cere yells at you. You race to the ship and Cere leaps in behind you.

“Up now Greez!”

“I got it already!”

Cere goes to close the door, but two hands cling onto the door. You swiftly run over and stomp on Cal’s hands, forcing him to let go. You run back inside and the door closes as Greez flies the ship away from the city. From Nubia and into hyperspace.


	3. Distant But Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Running from the Corellian Run, you begin to test the bonds you have with Cere and Greez and come to understand their goal, but things aren't as easy when you get visits from the past and a darker side wants to come out and play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “(Y/N)!”
> 
> The Knight kneels down to you, ordering the other younglings to bring the child you threw to the infirmary.
> 
> “Never do that again. Anger will lead you to the dark side. It will make you hurt innocents. Never give into that feeling.”
> 
> Tears begin to fall down your face, “But I can’t be strong without them!”
> 
> “Yes you can, you just need a little bit more training. You’ll be just as strong as everyone else, I promise. Master Yoda!”
> 
> You turn as Master Yoda enters the room.

Your body shook as your adrenaline came down and you realised what just happened to you. You stumble to the couch seats behind you and take the moment to breath and process everything. Your home and job were taken from you. You stumble to take out your datapad and swiftly send mass messages to your clients that you will not be taking any jobs for the foreseeable future.

“Are you okay?”

Cere looks at you with concern in her eyes. You glance at your hands, still feeling like they are burning from when Kestis touched you.

“No. I just had everything taken away, again. And now the Empire is actively gonna chase me.”

You lean back on the couch.

“Hey! Don’t get that dirty. I just cleaned those and I would prefer not to do it again so soon.”

Greez walked from the cockpit and sat on the other end of the couch. You sit up and hold your head.

“How did you guys find me?”

“I saw you walking with the Eleventh Brother and I figured the only reason he could be with you was if you were in danger. I lost you for a while, but I heard commotion from the restaurant you were at and called Greez. I would have joined earlier, but I took care of some Stormtroopers before they called for backup.”

You nod and still your breathing. The concern coming off of Cere and Greez helped calm you.

“Thank you. I was actually fine when you saw me walking with him, but I’m glad you assumed the worst. I would either be dead or sent to the Inquisitors headquarters.”

Cere smiled, “Of course, but if you don’t mind my asking, why didn’t you tell us you were a Jedi when we first met?”

Your face fell flat as all emotions felt distant from you, “I’m barely a Jedi. I never had a Master, not really. I was still a Youngling during the Purge,” you glance at their lightsaber in your lap and clip it to your belt, “I barely got away.”

Cere nods and Greez looks away, shoulders slumped.

“The Purge was bad for all of us, but we are here now. You may have only been a Youngling, but you certainly learned how to wield it well enough. Is it yours?”

A somber smile twitches on your lips, “No, mine was lost in the temple while running. This was from the Jedi Knight that protected me. She was a Sentinel and she taught me what little I know. I spent any open hours I had to train. When we got caught and she was killed, I took her saber and kept practicing. Kept me from death multiple times.”

Greez laughs at that, “Keeping with the bright side, eh.”

A grin makes its way on your face, but you can’t seem to make it hit your eyes. Greez and Cere don’t seem to notice, nodding and glancing away. You all sit in silence before a thought comes to mind, “What were you both doing on Nubia? The Corellian Run has a lot of things, but it seems a bit loud if you both are running from the Empire.”

Cere glances to Greez before looking back to you, “To be honest, you. We had word that there was a Force user of some sort in the Run. Little did we know this would happen.”

Cere laughs, “The Force works in mysterious ways.”

A chill makes its way down your back, as blood filled memories fill your thoughts, “Did you hear any stories about me?”

“Only that people sometimes noticed a figure with a silver weapon and some odd signs of Force, maybe, being used.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. No need to tell them about what you have done. 

“Cool, it’s just that, words flow around and I wouldn’t want you having a bad impression of me from rumors. They never bode well in the Run.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Greez laughs out and you can’t help but grin back at him. These two seemed to be able to see good wherever they looked, even if there was danger in front of them.

“Your Force signature just got stronger.”

You rub your head and pull in your connection to the Force, “I don’t have much control over that, sorry. I don’t really know what it is, but I can sense the emotions from others constantly and it affects my own mood and emotions. My Master taught me ways to control it, but I’m still very weak.”

You stick your hand out and lift up a guitar in the corner, and pull it to you, ever so slowly.

“No wonder you came to Nubia. Don’t need powers to make a living here.”

You nod at Greez’s words, “Yeah, I don’t know how to make that stronger without… using emotions, so I just didn’t bother.”

Cere sits down next to you, “That’s okay. Your empathy let’s you understand a lot more than most and the fact you are here is proof enough that you are fitting of the term Jedi and you might be able to help us.”

“Cere are you sure about this?”

Greez’s eyes are somber as he glances from you to Cere. The two sit in silence, a conversation only between them in their eyes before Greez signs and makes his way to the kitchen.

“My old Master hid away a holocron that holds the name of all the Force sensitive children in the galaxy. If we can get it, we can remake the Order, find the other old Masters and other surviving Jedi and fight against the Empire.”

You look up to Cere and you see her passion for this idea, and you can’t help but feel that same want. You can have a Master and be the Jedi you were meant to be. A smile creeps on your face.

“Remake the Order?” You can’t help the smile that crosses your face, “Of course! Where do we start?”

Cere’s blinding smile fills you with joy, “First we’ll head to my old Master’s home on Bogano.”

“Bogano? Never heard of that place.”

“No one does. It’s a secluded planet, but it’s where my master went and discovered ancient Force-sensitive people called the Zeffo. While we are there, I’ll fill you in on more details, but while we head there and while we are on the planet, we’ll train your Force abilities. You’ll need more control in the Force before going further.”

You nod and a yawn escapes your lips.

“Head to the back, there’s two open beds for you to take. We won’t get to Bogano until the better part of a week.”

You nod and make your way to the open beds, collapsing down as the events of the day catch up to you. You close your eyes and let the darkness take your sight.

\---

“C’mon and push it!”

Standing in the center of a padded room you look at the Jedi Knight leading your group in learning Force Push. You look at the hollow ball and go to push it again. It rolls over, but it doesn’t hit the target put across the room, waiting for you to prove yourself.

Just the Knight goes to console you, another voice speaks up, “You’ll never be a Jedi.”

You turn around and see another of the Younglings, another human, sneer at you. Anger swelled in you as you felt the sadness and disgust directed towards you and the other youngling. You extend your hand and push the kid back. He hits the wall and falls, coughing.

“(Y/N)!”

The Knight kneels down to you, ordering the other younglings to bring the child you threw to the infirmary.

“Never do that again. Anger will lead you to the dark side. It will make you hurt innocents. Never give into that feeling.”

Tears begin to fall down your face, “But I can’t be strong without them!”

“Yes you can, you just need a little bit more training. You’ll be just as strong as everyone else, I promise. Master Yoda!”

You turn as Master Yoda enters the room.

“Hey, kid!”

Jumping out of your bed and hitting yourself against the roof, you turn to and see Greez, looking at you solemnly.

“You were mumbling in your sleep. You okay?”

You rub your eyes before answering Greez, “Sorry. I was dreaming of the Jedi Temple and my training there.”

Greez offers a soft smile, “You must have good memories of that place.”

“It was my home for a long while. I can’t help but have memories of it.”

Greez nods and goes to stand. He begins to walk back to the cockpit, but stops and turns back to you.

“Kid, listen, if you ever need help or someone to listen to you, that isn’t a Force…..person, come to me. I won’t judge you for anything. I’ve done my fair share of bad things too.”

You sleepily nod as he leaves. Did he realise you didn’t say ‘fond memories’? You push the thought away before laying down again. This’ll be the last long bit of sleep you’ll have in a while.

\-----

You open your eyes to see yourself sitting on a metal floor, red and white lights lighting up the rather dim hallway. They seem to blink in succession, leading you down the hall. You turn around and try to pass through other doors, none opening for you, so you follow the red light.

The air is stale and cold and the only noises you hear are the clacking of your boots and your tense breathing, coming out in little puffs as if you were in snow. The hall drones on until you see a figure a few doors down, turned away from you looking at something. You pause reaching for your lightsaber and take slow even steps to mute your approach.

The figure never moves and you get 10 feet away when you see tousled red hair and a familiar Inquisitor outfit. You instinctively gasp and he turns to you, yellow eyes scanning over you before a small grin creeps on his face.

“So, it did happen.”

You hold your tongue and tighten your grip on your lightsaber.

“You are certainly trying to be a Jedi, but we both know better.”

Cal looks at his hand, the same one he grabbed you with, his glove off once more, “Your Force is stronger than before. You have a goal now, don’t you. Something you believe in.”

He looks behind you and a smile graces his lips, feral and angry. You instinctively frown as his emotions overpower your own and you turn around, seeing the shocked faces of Cere and Greez disappointed in you. Then you feel a pair of hands grab your shoulders. Turning left you see Cal, but a voice speaks from your right.

“It seems they don’t remember me, but you were right about the connection being able to reignite, Cal.”

The hairs on your body stand as suddenly standing on your right and gently holding your right shoulder is the Second Sister. You look back at Greez and Cere, pure sadness, betrayal, and terror shooting through them. Tears blur your vision and you hastily rub them away, but they don’t stop.

“When have I ever been wrong?”

“When you were a Jedi.”

A hollow chuckle escapes Cal’s lips, “Besides that mistake. Either way, I think once we get them here we can help them remember, right?”

“With that I can agree.”

You smile as their emotions seem to seep into you. You begin to giggle, until it becomes a full on laugh, tears freely falling from your face. You call to the floor, your body shaking from laughing and your own emotions betraying you.

“It’s okay. You won’t have to run from yourself anymore.”

“We’ll keep you safe and make you just as beautiful and free as us, darling.”

Their touch seems to burn onto your skin as they pull you to their feet. You lean into them despite yourself, a smile still plaguing your face and tear stains reminding you of your allies, now with weapons drawn and watching you carefully. The Second Sister speaks up first.

“They are using you. They don’t trust you and expect you to betray them but they’ll try to keep you close to them.”

Cal’s voice strikes like a bolt in your gut, “You may be no stranger to betrayal, but how do you know that they want to build the Order with you.”

You freeze. How can you know? Do they really not trust you? No they have to. There is no way they don’t, but… why is Greez steadying a blaster at you, glancing at Cal, ready to run if things get bad. Why is Cere now igniting her saber and staring you and the Second Sister down with pure fear.

“They know what will happen, just as we do, and we will take you with open arms. It’s going to happen.”

You thrash away from the Inquisitors. “NO! I won’t be like you!”

“Then why don’t you ignite your saber?”

Eyes wide you look to Cal. His mouth is a straight line, no mirth to be found. The Second Sister stands still, patient and waiting. You can’t help but feel like you are being tested.

The metal hilt feels like knives stabbing your hand, you having never let go of your saber. It’ll be yellow, just as it always has been, because it’s yours now. You shake your head, it was your master’s not yours, but you’ve made it yours by now, haven’t you?

Red fills your vision as the beam slowly crawls out. Your eyes fixate on it, slowly realising the hilt is not what it is, but something else. The Inquisitors look to you with pride and you feel no more tears coming down your face, instead a deep laugh escapes your mouth, but before it reaches its climax you hear a blaster shot.

\-----

Training is not something you’re not used to, but the last few weeks have been strenuous. While you passively can use it to wall run or keep you from danger, you never had to actively use it to move things, not even small objects. Needless to say, Cere has been like a mini-general, training you with the Force from dawn to dusk.

Hours of meditation, moving objects, and overall Force signature growth. Every day, your muscles ache and headaches are something you have become accustomed to. Cere paid no expense in telling you about her master, Eno Cordova and his research into the Zeffo. Now, three weeks since your training began, you sit with Cere and Greez at dinner, you all decided on eating outside some nights, mostly so Greez doesn’t become a hermit. 

You all talk about various ight topics, the wind and clean breeze a godsend compared to the sweat and smoke of the city. You look to the Zeffo temple, when a thought enters your mind and you ask it without thinking.

“So, what are we trying to get. You mentioned that Cordova left something to help us get into the Archive here, right?”

Cere and Greez pause in their eating, sharing a brief glance. You frown, they always do this when things are sensitive or in regards to the mission. Do they still not trust you?

“That’s part of what we are looking for. An Inquisitor took it, a droid. A BD unit. From what intel we have, the Empire is not in possession of the droid. We need to find it before they can, otherwise they will get to the holocron before us and….”

Cere stops, her passion fading into silence. You gulp and feel tears well up in your eyes as waves of sadness and betrayal come off of her. She shakes her head and turns to you.

“No need to focus on the bad now. We’ll be able to find him, and I think we have a leg up compared to the Empire.”

You lean forward, “How so?”

“The last place we saw our droid, BD-1, was last on Kashyyyk before he was lost. The Empire hasn’t come here, so they can’t have found them yet, probably looking elsewhere.”

Nodding along and getting ready to eat, you stop, “The Inquisitors are looking for BD-1, too. The Inquisitor told me before our….fight.”

You take a pause, something isn’t right, “They think you have them.”

Cere chuckles, “I wish I did, it’d make my job 10 times easier.”

You frown, images of the Inquisitors in your mind. What would be easier? Killing you once they are done? You shake away the thought. She wouldn’t do that. Jedi don’t do that. Focus on BD-1, where could they be on Kashyyyk? Wait?

“Why Kashyyyk? How do you know, for sure, that BD-1 is there?”

Cere pauses, glancing around the room, stopping at Greez, who speaks up, “Uhhh, Cere has contacts on Kashyyyk who last saw her...Master, right? Sorry, still new to the whole Jedi thing.”

Your eyes narrow, the nervousness emanating from them souring your taste. You go to respond, when you all hear the sounds of TIE Fighters. Your body shoots up and you ignite your saber, deflecting several blaster shots back at several Stormtroopers. As they all fall to the ground, the faint smell of burning flesh hitting your nose, you spot two figures approaching your group.

With a smile Cal looks at you like a predator at their prey. The Second Sister much the same.

“Long time no see, doll.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, but I had personal issues I need to resolve, but I should be back to give hopefully bi-weekly updates, if not monthly ones for this series. I still want to write this, but I also have other fanfic ideas that I want to get to as well. Either way please enjoy this chapter!


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